Tales of a Reluctant Shopper

Dressy enough?

     People fashion their lives around different things: their career, their spouse, their passions, etc. In hindsight, I now believe I have fashioned my life around not having to dress up. I chose to live in a college town where my regular jeans-and-sweater combination looks polished compared to the co-eds who regularly dine out in their slippers. I'm a writer, which entails rarely having to leave the house. I can stay at home most days in my sweat pants or jeans. It should be pointed out that my sweat pants are the cute, fitted kind, not the diaper-y grey kind. I'm not a slob, I just don't like uncomfortable clothes. 
     I hate stuffing my feet into sky high heels, I hate wearing sleeveless dresses in winter, and I think it goes without saying that I hate Spanx. I thought having to wear panty hose was bad until wearing no hose became the thing and I was wishing I could once again stick my powder white legs into a pair of tan L'eggs. Am I too old for tights?
    So I set up my life pretty well for the minimum amount of instances where I'm not in comfortable clothing. Invariably, however, I am lucky enough to be invited to an "occasion." When it's a formal occasion, it's almost easier. Usually I can find a dress that I like well enough and shoes that I love (but know I won't love wearing). But "business casual" is the tricky invitation. It always involves having to buy more than one thing that all go together. It's almost like redecorating your bedroom. You're just going to paint it, but then once you do, you realize you need new curtains and then a new rug and then a new lamp... Come to think of it, I'd rather redecorate my bedroom.
     Another one of these dressy occasions is coming up and I was complaining to my husband that I would have to go clothes shopping for something to wear. I didn't blame him for not believing me that I had nothing to wear. Some women say that and what they mean is, among these thirty-seven dressy things, I have nothing I want to wear again. Nope, for me I literally have nothing suitable to wear. My shopping experience today might clue you in as to why. Here it is in a nutshell:

I go to the store and pick out 14 pairs of black dress pants to try on because I am too lazy to search for anything besides black dress pants. I have a shirt at home that will match. One less thing to buy.

I try on all 14 pairs, hating each and every one, as I knew I would. Did I mention I hate dress pants?

The mound of rejected black slacks on the floor pushes me to a place in my shopping trip where I always end up: The place of 'who cares?'. (You thought I was going to say the food court, didn't you? That's for later.) 

I go get a pair of black jeans off the rack.

I try them on. They're comfortable. They look good. I won't have to iron them or dry clean them. I'm sold, but I can't find a price tag.

I quickly return to the 'who cares?' point again, partly because I have to pee. I decide to purchase the black jeans regardless of the price. 

Thankfully they were on sale down from $49 to $17 plus the cashier used her 15% off coupon for me. I feel it's my good karma for putting all the pants back on their hangars in less than six curse words.

I come home feeling satisfied (but I think that's mostly due to my binge at the food court). Then my refreshed brain realizes the pants I ultimately bought are not dressy enough for the occasion I was shopping for in the first place. 

I'm back to 'who cares?'. They are comfortable and were a good deal, so I'm wearing them.

And that is the story of why I have nothing dressy to wear. But I do have a rather nice collection of black jeans.