IS IT BAD THAT I'M HAPPY?

            I don’t have it all. I've lost and gained the same seven pounds every year for the past five years. I struggle to help my son overcome the specific challenges he faces on a daily basis. I haven’t finished writing my book. I’m tired of the cold weather encroaching on my warm weather months. And Mark Ruffalo doesn’t live next door to me. Despite all of this, I’m happy.

            But I kinda’ feel like I’m not supposed to be. There’s a reason people refer to happiness as the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. True contentment can be elusive. Everyone wants to be happy. We all support each other while we’re inching our way towards that rainbow, but does anyone really want us to reach it? There’s always someone who finds the downside, almost as if focusing on happy has become taboo.

            If I’m happy binge watching The Real Housewives, it’s dubbed a “guilty” pleasure. If I’m snacking on popcorn, I’m reminded how the butter will kill me. If I wake up feeling good about life, there are at least three people who willingly post sad and/or horrific stories on Facebook just in case I might’ve missed the various atrocities outside my control. Might you be feeling happy about your life? Shame on you.

            Do more, start anew, and by no means remain in your comfort zone. Motivational people are the experts on happiness, so they would like us to believe. But first they need us to be dissatisfied with our lives. They make pleasure seem lazy and contentment seem trite. How can they motivate us if we’re already fulfilled with our lives? If I’m comfortable, I need to push myself harder. If I’m satisfied, I’m stuck. According to their edict, I’m not nearly sufficiently driven or successful enough to be a happy person. Essentially, I shouldn’t be happy yet…even if I am.

            As much as we follow the inspirational/motivational mantras, we also listen to the Buddhists, and more importantly Oprah, who have their own thoughts on happiness. The enlightened path is to be fully present in the moment. Finally, Oprah has united us in our quest for happiness. Live in the present. That is, after we make our vision boards focusing on our futures. Sigh.

            Chaperoning field trips, having long phone chats with my best friend, or going out for Saturday morning pancakes won’t ever come up in a google search of my name, but the small parts of my life are just as vital to me as the so-called big parts. Writing is my compass when I feel I’m blowing in the wind. On the other hand, sometimes it’s nice to have the freedom to see where the wind takes me. Perhaps it’s that very balance that fulfills me.

            There are still plenty of new things I expect to do. I understand and have experienced the rewards of triumphing over difficult undertakings. However, it’s also not a bad thing to enjoy our days, take time for our friends and family, choose our pleasures, and ultimately give ourselves a break from the arduous task of seeking society’s definition of happiness. I reject the notion that because I’m content with my life as it is right now that I need to challenge myself for that promised, intangible more out of life. Besides Mark Ruffalo regularly stopping by to borrow sugar, what more can I get out of life than to be happy?