VALERIE BERTINELLI: MY FAITHFUL MAKE-BELIEVE FRIEND

Today I’m changing up my daily routine of throwing on my work-out clothes when I hop out of bed and exercising as soon as I finish my breakfast yogurt. It’s a snowy Sunday – a day that whispers get comfy - so I’m allowing myself to ease into the day with a cup of coffee. (That's after starting a load of laundry – let’s not get crazy.) 

Since I’m going for comfort, I turned on the Food Network and caught Valerie Bertinelli’s cooking show for the first time. I’ve made a few decent meals from cooking show recipes, but I mainly watch for the hominess of the shows, and frankly, whether they could be my make-believe friends. I like to watch TV personalities I'd hang out with...if, you know, they knew I existed. So, yes Ree Drummond, probably not Giada. Yes Trisha Yearwood, probably not Ina Garten. Yes Nancy Fuller, probably not Katie Lee. And definitely yes, Valerie Bertinelli.

You know what I like about her? (Beside the fact that we could totally hang out.) She turned out to be who I wanted her to be. I watched her as a teenager on One Day at a Time and she was rockin’ and cute, and sweet and relatable. And then in real life, she appears to be all the things I thought she was when we were younger. As an actor, she had no obligation to live up to her TV image, but I'm grateful she managed to keep my childhood nostalgia intact. 

I grew up in the 70’s, which meant television – and the people on it – were a big part of my childhood. Coming from a family of six children, I was close to living the life of The Brady Bunch…except, of course, my parents were nothing like Carol and Mike Brady. (Whose were?) As a young girl, I couldn’t poinpoint the traits I now know made Mary Tyler Moore so appealing to me. And, of course, there were all the boys I had crushes on: Leif Garrett, Scott Baio, Willie Aames, Paul Michael Glaser, Robby Benson, and both Cassidy brothers. Alas, we all grow up, some of us not as successfully as others. The fact that Mary Tyler Moore was even stronger in real life than she appeared on her show makes me happy. That Paul Michael Glaser is as bad ass as he was in Starsky and Hutch makes me feel like my daydreams about him were worth my time. The fact that Scott Baio is an unenlightened dolt, not so much.

It shouldn’t matter to me how these celebrities turned out, but somehow it seems a reflection of my childhood sensibilities. It doesn’t necessarily taint my memories, but for some, I’d rather not know what became of them. This also applies to my actual childhood friends, not just the pretend ones on TV.

I moved away from my hometown when I was sixteen, back before the internet kept everyone bound for life. It wasn’t until thirty years later, through the creation of Facebook, that I had contact again with the kids I grew up with. When you remain friends with people your whole life, you’re able to negotiate the departures in your lifestyles naturally. However, the only thing binding those of us who suddenly plopped into each others’ lives was our collective memories. A few of these long lost friends I’ve reconnected with in a meaningful way. Some of them I simply enjoy hearing what they’re up to. But there are others who have polar opposite life views than I have, which makes it difficult to isolate my childhood memories from the adults we’ve become. It’s bittersweet to know that I have little in common with people who once had starring roles in my life story. A certainty of my childhood is now tattered.

Maybe that’s why watching a grown-up, still rockin’ and cute-as-a-button Valerie Bertinelli brings me contentment. She remains the make-believe friend she always was. On a lazy day with my boy and our cat, combining food with childhood nostalgia is as comforting as a Sunday morning gets.