From Housewife to Pioneer Woman

I want to be the pioneer woman. Not a pioneer woman, the pioneer woman. Are you familiar with Ree Drummond from The Food Network? She lives on a working cattle ranch in Oklahoma and also has her own blog (www.thepioneerwoman.com) where she shares her recipes, her photography, her gardening tips and oh yeah, she homeschools her four kids, as well. And I want to be her. Despite the fact that I can’t handle more than my one child, I don’t like cooking or cowboys, and my son goes to public school for a good reason. Ok, so maybe I can be a mini-pioneer woman, because we still have a lot in common. She lives “in the middle of nowhere” and so do I. Well, she might be more out there than I am, living on a sprawling Oklahoma ranch. But I have to drive twenty-three miles to the nearest Barnes & Noble. Does that count?

She may have given herself the Pioneer Woman moniker when she transitioned from working city girl to married country girl, but for me, it’s got nothing to do with the ranch. I think she’s a true pioneer for a different reason: she embraces her choice to center her life around her family, and she doesn’t apologize for it.

I like Ree’s spin on her role. Pioneer Woman captures it so much better than stay-at-home mom or housewife. Those pioneer women were revered. Their importance to the foundation of their family was appreciated. Today, women who choose to be “housewives” are often looked down upon. Ree writes about herself: “My days are spent wrangling children, chipping dried manure from boots, washing jeans, and making gravy. I have no idea how I got here…but you know what? I love it.” Then she jokes, “Don’t tell anyone!” Because she knows educated women of the 21^st century aren’t supposed to be satisfied, much less fulfilled, by any of that stuff. We must still be brainwashed from prior generations if we choose to do our husband’s laundry or cook the family meals.

Hence, the battle rages on between working moms vs. stay-at-home moms. Women argue over which is better for the kids, but I don’t understand that debate. If you’re happy and fulfilled in your situation, then that’s what’s better for the kids. You know the saying, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” It’s true whether you work outside the home or in it.

A large part of Ree Drummond’s focus on her family includes making meals for them and even though it’s 2013, she feeds them regular food. Ludicrously, this too makes her a pioneer in today’s society where you’re shamed for eating anything white…or eating at all! One of Gillian Michaels’ food rules is to wear a ribbon around your waist so it gets tight while you’re eating so you’ll stop. Why not just have someone slug you after every third bite? That should keep you in shape. And let’s not start with Gwyneth Paltrow’s food rules. Suffice it to say, don’t eat anything you can find in your grocery store. (Let’s not pretend she’s an expert on health, because she admits to being a smoker.) There are so many people telling us which foods we must eat. Funny thing is, once that food goes out of style, you never hear about it again. Kale, anyone? “Nutrition coaches” were practically bathing in it last year. Then it was acai berry juice, then quinoa, and now it’s coconut water (or maybe that’s passé already, too). There are too many morning show slots to fill, too many beauty articles, and too many food blogs. People aren’t trying to make the rest of us healthy, they’re just trying to stay relevant.

How pioneering it is for Ree Drummond to be relevant by being traditional. By cooking some of her husband’s grandmother’s recipes. By making her home and family her main focus, even as she continues her love of writing, photography, and cooking. Even though that might not be the thing for everyone, I admire her for unabashedly embracing her choice.

As I said, my cooking skills are rudimentary, so I don’t usually turn to the Food Network for recipes. Still, when I watch The Pioneer Woman, I get the cozies. I understand the appeal of being the one who keeps your home humming. Comfort can come from doing something as simple as packing a peanut butter and honey sandwich in my son’s lunchbox every day. I can relate to her fulfillment in the life she’s chosen and the pride she takes in it.

Yes, she has a TV show, but it organically emanated from a life she was already leading. Personally, I think she’s pioneering a new definition of success, one not based on money, degrees, or status.

Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, recently started a “Lean In” movement. Her website describes it as “a global community committed to encouraging and supporting women leaning in to their ambitions.” I wonder if women can also support other women whose ambition it is to be the true matriarch of their family. In other words, a pioneer woman.